For those who don’t know, ‘Speed’ is the trim moniker that Bentley gives to its fastest vehicles (i.e. Bentley Continental GT Speed), because Type R is far too bourgeois. The engineers at Crewe have tuned the Flying Spur Speed’s twin-turbocharged W12 engine to produce a very stout 626 horsepower and 664 lb.-ft. of torque. Putting it all down through a ZF eight-speed automatic gearbox and all-wheel-drive nets a quoted zero to 60 mph time of 3.7 seconds on the way to a top speed of 207 mph. Imagine doing 207 mph in Cholmondeley Castle. Best of all, there’s more to that aforementioned all-wheel-drive system than quick runs up to 60 mph. In comfort mode, the Flying Spur Speed can send up to 53 percent of the engine’s torque to the front axle. However, in sport mode, the all-wheel-drive system will only send a maximum of 206 lb.-ft. of torque to the front axle. Perfect for tight getaways where you may need to gingerly rotate through a hairpin or two without sending cigar ashes flying about the cabin. Maybe you just dine-and-dashed a Michelin Star restaurant, we’re not here to judge.

Further preventing any accidental decanting of the pilfered Moët & Chandon you may have in the rear seat refrigerator is four-wheel steering and Bentley Dynamic Ride, a pair of 48-volt active anti-roll bars that aim to offer both exceptional ride quality and flat handling. Hauling this leather-lined missile down to legal speeds are what Bentley claims to be the largest iron brake discs on any car in the world. The front discs measure a very nice 420 mm in diameter, or 16.53 inches in imperial units. For context, that’s larger than a wheel from an early Bentley Turbo R. Isn’t progress wonderful? Unfortunately, progress also makes the Flying Spur Speed a bit of a rarity. See, the Flying Spur Speed is now the only way to get a W12 in a Flying Spur. According to a Bentley media release, the standard Flying Spur W12 was discontinued way back in May. Sure, the four-liter turbocharged V8 in standard Flying Spur models is a good engine, but it just doesn’t hold the same cachet as packing twelve cylinders does. Bentley claims that the Flying Spur Speed will do 15 L/100km on the WLTP combined cycle, or about 15.6 mpg.

The Flying Spur Speed isn’t for everyone, but Bentley still expects one in three Flying Spurs sold in America and Europe to be Speed models. So, for you Terry-Thomas types, this preposterously fast Bentley sedan just might be what you need to outrun scorned lovers, restaurant bills, and the tax collector, and do it all in style. Anyway, the point is…is that I think it’s actually a pretty cool ride. Yeah, sure, it’s fun to make “eat the rich” jokes and all that, but that doesn’t negate the fact that this car is neat. It’s a ride that I doubt anyone here would say “no” to. Let’s not go all ja(ahem, cough, spit, purge)likky on social issues, when this is clearly about a car that is one of the last 12’s to ever be built by a “major” manufacturer. It’s kinda important in that way… I just picture a guy in a perfectly-tailored suit, impossible hair, maybe a very thin mustache getting into this as he leaves the club after orchestrates a con that involves pretending to be minor royalty and/or owning a large company in a developing country. Or…just Michael Caine in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.

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