Well, I’d say that’s pretty decisive. Reader “greatfallsgreen” called this a tortoise-versus-hare race, and I’m mad I didn’t think of that one myself. But it looks like slow and steady has indeed won the race. It’s the Benz by a landslide, weird misspelled ad and all. Now, today’s choices aren’t the sports cars you’re looking for. One has the wrong transmission, and the other has the wrong engine. Still, the price is right on both of them. Let’s kick some tires.

1986 Porsche 928S – $5,000

Engine/drivetrain: 5.0 liter dual overhead cam V8, four-speed automatic, RWD Location: in the mountains east of Albuquerque, NM Odometer reading: 63,000 miles Runs/drives? It doesn’t say, actually… The Porsche 928 has always seemed to be a love-it-or-hate-it sort of car. It was a massive departure for Porsche, a cushy GT instead of a corner-carving sports car, with a V8 in front instead of a flat-six in back, and genuinely weird styling, with a prominent bubble-butt and those flip-forward headlights. I despised it when I was younger, but its weirdness has grown on me, and now I kinda like it.

In 1986, the 928’s quad-cam V8 displaced five liters and made 288 horsepower in US trim, nothing to sneeze at when the Corvette was only putting out 230. This 928, like too many, sends that power to a rear-mounted automatic transaxle. Absolutely no indication is given in the ad about the car’s mechanical condition; in fact, the whole thing is written as if this car is intended to be sold for parts. But if it does run, or could run, why chop it up? There can’t be that much demand for 928 parts.

And apart from some wear inside on the blue leather seats (!!!) and sun-scorched paint outside, it looks pretty good. In fact, if it is driveable, you could probably just leave the cosmetics alone. But a phone call is in order first, I feel, to find out if it’s functional or purely decorative.

But as we’ve seen, air-cooled Porsche prices are absolutely batshit off-the-rails crazy these days, so if you really must get into the club, these less-desirable water-cooled cars might make a good point of entry. If nothing else, it’s a flashy V8 coupe that you don’t see very often.

1985 Pontiac Fiero 2M4 – $2,000

Engine/drivetrain: 2.5 liter overhead-valve inline 4, five-speed manual, RWD Location: Albuquerque, NM Odometer reading: 155,000 miles Runs/drives? Yep Who were Pontiac engineers kidding when they tried to sell this to the GM brass as an economy car? The plastic-bodied parts-bin special Fiero evolved into a quite a decent sports car by the time it was killed off, but even in the early days, this was not being cross-shopped by Sunbird buyers. It was a half-assed sports car, but the engine is behind the seats and it’s shaped like a doorstop. They weren’t fooling anybody.

Cramming the entire drivetrain and front suspension of an X-body into the middle of a car caused its fair share of problems for these early Fieros, but recalls and decades of owner knowledge sharing makes the risk of fire from a four-cylinder Fiero these days pretty small. Of course, the Iron Duke isn’t much of an engine even when it isn’t catching fire, but a Fiero doesn’t weigh much. I’ve driven a manual four-cylinder Fiero, and it was fine. Not a screamer, but fine.

The seller says this Fiero runs and drives, but is “not a commuter for someone non-mechanical.” But really, the same could be said of any nearly-forty-year-old GM product, or any car, for that matter. Condition-wise, from the photos, it looks nice, except for some wear on the driver’s seat. But you’ll want to keep those seats; the stereo speakers are in the headrests, presumably because there was nowhere else to put them.

I was nine when the Fiero came out, and I loved it then, and I still love it now. Even with the Duke, I’d happily spend two grand on this, if I had a place to put another car. But I don’t, and anyway, we’re not here for me to choose a car. This is all about you. So, good readers, what will it be? The puffy Porsche that may or may not run, or the fire-prone Pontiac with the heart of a Chevy Citation?

(Image credits: Craigslist sellers) Anyway, I’d take the 928. Had a chance to buy one in much batter condition for $7K right before prices of all cars went nuts. Should have jumped on it. Regret. Los Lunas is to the south of Albuquerque and we didn’t venture east but I wonder if this is the same car? Having said that, I also thought the Fiero was really cool too! It just seemed like such a rare and unique effort from an American marque. But personally I wouldn’t want to drive anything but the 2M6. I would take one and then buy a wrecked or theft recover 345 to 400 hp Corvette to donate the underside. I wonder if the rear transaxle fits as well? I like the later versions of these, but this’ll due compared the the bank-breaking 928. Also, the seat speakers are only found on early Fieros. Definitely worth keeping those.

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