We don’t really need to look at yesterday’s results to know which car won, but just to make it official:
Ouch. A couple of you wondered whether the Mercedes was legit, and not a scam. I have some doubts myself, but judging by the tone of the ad, I think it might be one of those rare instances when the seller really does not know what they have. So somebody go hurry up and snag it before they come to their senses. So this week we learned two things: We collectively as a group have a hard time being sensible, and I can’t seem to stay away from red cars, as much as I claim to dislike them. (Actually, what I dislike is primary red, like 90% of NA Miatas were painted, including mine. These reds are much nicer.) We’ve put together an interesting four-car garage this time around. Let’s take another look at them.
1996 Chevy Suburban – $2,000
I can’t believe this big beast hasn’t sold yet. The seller just marked it down to $1,700, so anybody who wanted it, go get it. Put that $300 you save towards the first day or two of gas for it. The days of the big carryall may be coming to a close, especially if these fuel prices become the new normal. You’re certainly not going to want to commute in it. But as a weekend warrior, I think there’s still some life in the old girl. I don’t need it, but I do think it’s cool. I’ll put this one in second place for me.
2001 Plymouth Neon – $1,995
The pride of Belvedere, Illinois is still up for sale as well, across the state line in Indiana. It’s another case of the sequel not being as good as the original, but it’s still a respectable little car. Too many Neons were treated as disposable and are now gone, but the ones that have survived just keep going, grinning like idiots at the world around them. I think if I wanted another Neon, I’d look for one local to me, and insist on a manual. They’re not bad with an automatic, but every small car is better with three pedals, and you buy a Neon for the fun-to-drive factor, so why suck half the fun out of it with a torque converter? This car, as it sits, is last on my list, but only by a hair.
2008 Kia Rio – $2,200
Apparently someone out there enjoys sweatin’ in the oldies, because our little non-air-conditioned Kia is gone daddy gone. It’s a decent price on a fairly reliable car in nice shape, so I’m not surprised it sold. And really, its specification isn’t too far from the one and only new car I have ever bought: a 2002 Mazda Protege DX. It was bare-bones too, except for a “preferred option package” that included AC, a CD player, and something else minor that I’m forgetting. (When I bought it, there were two in that spec on the lot. One was white, and the other was… white. So I went with white.) And it’s just about the same spec as my current beater. So I understand the appeal of a no-frills car. But jeez, not even air conditioning? That’s hardcore. This is number three for me, only by virtue of having a clutch pedal.
1976 Mercedes-Benz 450SEL – $1,650
Aaaaand… this one sold as well, in the time it took me to write about the other three. Big surprise. At least they were kind enough to leave it posted long enough for us to talk about it yesterday. Someone got a screaming deal on this car, if it really was presented accurately. No rust, a bulletproof aluminum overhead-cam V8, and that bank-vault build quality, for under two grand? Shut up and take my money. This is number one of the four for me, and I expect it will take top spot in the voting as well. And by the way, if whoever bought this car is reading this, please drop us a line. We’d love to know if it’s really as good as it looks. So tune in next week for more crusty old clunkers. Don’t forget to vote! here Sold it two years later for like ten percent less than I paid for it, which was not the norm pre-COVID. My phone kept ringing for days afterwards. Could’ve gotten more but, you know, “divorce forces sale.” Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get ready for the tanning competition with the girls from the hairdresser’s school. That Merc is sweet and so is the price. I hope the new owner enjoys it and lavishes upon it all the love it deserves. Next best value is the Suburban, especially at the reduced price of $1,700. Maybe we’re just starting to see the beginning of gas-related price erosion on our favorite dinosaurs. Now W123 hand me downs, yeah maybe half of the drivers. Might be a toss up with Peugeot 504s. Last I checked, he wasn’t a dictator. But you know, whatever. Cast your aspersions elsewhere. Voting isn’t as cut and dry as I thought it would be though! But if you need cheap reliable transportation? Neon. Hands down. Even if there’s hidden rust, as long as the K-frame’s sound (usually the last to go anyway,) it’s your perfect ‘basic but not too basic’ transportation. Fuel mileage isn’t phenomenal with the 40TE, but you’re still talking over 30MPG highway. And unlike the Kia, it has air conditioning and a factory radio. And even with the automatic it’s not an entirely miserable car. Especially not at $1995. The Suburban’s utility certainly cannot be overstated. It hauls everything but ass. However, if you need to get just you and your groceries around regularly? It’s the last damn car anyone should pick. GM had to classify it as an SPV when new! 42 gallon fuel tank, 11MPG city claimed, and best case range of about 360 miles. It doesn’t need anything to go wrong to completely and utterly bankrupt you.
